Ho Ho Ho pfffft! The color red is not exactly the happy Christmas type of red. it is more the type of red which usually accompanies steam blowing through ears.
You may have detected that I am in a somewhat grumpy mood. I wasn't earlier, but I certainly am now. Here's why.
- Take one 7 1/2 foot artificial Christmas tree (complete with 700 pre-attached mini lights).
- Add in two sane adults (okay, sort of sane).
- Mix gently.
- Oh! Don't' forget to add that there is no logical place in this house for a tree that big!!!
This is a powerful enough cocktail sure to fry anybody's tootsies.
Now, this is not the first time that I have been wondering where in the heckers this monster tree was going to go. You see, it moved with us last year, but it didn't go up last year. It sat quietly in the garage, not bothering a soul, but I heard it calling from the bowels of the garage....it said 'Where are you going to put me? Where are you going to put me? There is no place to put me...heh heh.'. Oh yes, I heard it for the past year and a half, and I dreaded this Christmas when we would actually have to force it to stand somewhere, anywhere.
But it didn't. Stand anywhere that is. It's just too frigging big! It's too wide. It blocks the doorways. It blocks the windows. We even tried putting it together with only the two top pieces, so that it would be like a mini tree.
Oh! There was also a casualty. One of the little mini bulbs also fell off, which means that one of the 700 lights is missing, and one of those sections probably won't light. Argh!
It ended up looking like a dwarf tree. Worse than a dwarf tree. With a lot of bald spots.
Now, while it was being moved, and assembled, and un-assembled, and moved, its lovely little green branch thingies were falling all over the place (thank goodness our house gets cleaned tomorrow, because the floor looks like Chuckie has done a number here!!!).
I know what is going to happen. We are going to go to the store, again, to try to find a tree (I only hope it's not a tabletop tree...I really really don't want one of those....and my apologies to those of you who have them and like them).
At this point, I'd even be happy with a little Charlie Brown type of tree. The little tree that nobody wanted..