Sunday, November 19, 2006

Look Through Any Window

Does anyone else remember that song by The Hollies? That was a neat song, surely to put a worm in many a mind.

With that said, a post, with thanks to one SL who recalled this as a blast from the past. I thought it might make a good post. We'll see. You be the judge.

Years ago, we lived in a house where our kitchen window was situated almost directly in front of our neighbour's kitchen window. People might say that the properties were so close, that there wasn't much privacy, blah blah blah, but we didn't mind it. In fact, it kind of kept us in touch with the world around us, because the world and its inhabitants was indeed right there beside and in front of us.

Now, from one of our upstairs bedrooms, we could also see the neighbouring kitchen window. On this particular night, we had been installing mini blinds in that window, and noticed the lady of the house standing at the kitchen sink. She had her finger in her nose. For quite a long time. And we saw it, but she didn't know that we saw.

I know what you're going to say. Bad peeping toms or so what? Everybody picks their nose (although no one is supposed to admit to it OR ever get caught doing it).

Well, there is only one thing worse than picking your nose, and that....is....eating the booger that you've picked! This is what she was doing, in a pretty repetitive fashion. Pick, eat, pick, eat, lick fingers, pick more, eat more. Gross....gross....gross.....gross.

Like if she needed some food, we had plenty! We could have brought her something nourishing, but maybe this just was soooo much better. But now imagine, if you will, the possibility that one of these little critters could have made its way into any of the food that she was preparing. Double gross!@!@!@

The funny part was that, later, when we would see her on the street, or talk to her, we would always have this lasting memory of her in her kitchen.

With her booger friend.

I do believe I hear the dinner bell ringing, but before I do, I leave you with the following....

Pick Your Nose Inconspicuously
A recent poll alleges that a majority of people admit to picking their noses in public. Although not socially accepted, nose picking can , at times, be necessary. When something in your nose needs help finding its way out, you can be ready to respond by following one of these basic stealth techniques for public nasal manicuring.



The Thumb-Finger Method (Super Advanced)<
  1. Position the index finger of the opposite-side hand alongside the exterior of the obstructed channel.

  2. Nonchalantly slip the thumb as deep as necessary into the nostril.

  3. Using the thumbnail, delicately clamp onto the dried mucous mass.

  4. Slowly withdraw the thumb and it's payload from the nostril. At this step in the process be particularly vigilant for any trailing mucous which might be attached to the payload. These un-noticed "stringers" can jeopardize the entire operation.

  5. Return the hand to a more natural position and discreetly execute a flicking motion with the thumb. This should launch the material sufficiently far away from you that it becomes someone else's problem.


The Advanced Hand-Guard Method (A novice method)
  1. Slightly cup the left hand and position it so that your forefinger is below your right eye and your thumb is below your left eye. The palm will be hiding the nostrils from onlookers who will be convinced that you are rubbing your cheeks as one does when trying to ease the symptoms of a headache, or of weariness, (simutaneously closing one's eyes makes the tactic even more effective).

  2. In a natural, confident motion bring the right hand up and under the left hand. Use the right index finger to probe, acquire and extract the residual material. After returning the right hand to a secure location execute a flicking maneuver to eject the material.

16 comments:

Skittles said...

My tummy just did an unpleasant flip-flop when you said she was EATING them!!! Gross, gross, gross!!!

I had a friend who who never eat at potluck dinners because she feared people had been picking their nose while cooking.

Yes, I remember that song :)

Can I kick Mike's butt.. he's playing Christmas carols already haha.

Mike said...

I heard a record by George Carlin once that described "snot" as the universal glue. Having said that, I don't know if the "flicking" thing would work lol. BTW, I am sitting here rolling on the floor reading this. And thanks for the instructions LOL.

masgblog said...

no playing Christmas Carols until after Thanksgiving....and when December gets here....then it's ok.


please?

I remember schnotts

Mike said...

Who makes up these rules??? If I'm in the Christmas spirit, why not??? lol.

Mairin Verthandi said...

Thanks for posting these stealth techniques. I'll have to try them out next time I need to pick and flick in public. LOL

masgblog said...

expertly written and sure to entice, mairin

:-)

Felicia L. said...

I laughed out loud at the "stealth techniques."

Of course, I was the SL who reminded you of the nose-picking neighbour; I believe it was Mr. Sweetie who told us about it the next morning. (This was not THAT many years ago; it was for someone's big ole wedding, remember? You made me buy makeup.)

Now, I recently made a public statement about my own nose-picking, because I often work before a large picture window. Neighbours across the lake MIGHT see me digging for gold, but in actual fact, they'd have to be using a telescope to see me, so that would just be sneaky.

What I DIDN'T tell the world is that when I don't have a box of Kleenex at hand? I put my boogers into my ashtray.

HOWEVER, I am scrupulous about washing my hands, especially while cooking for others. :)

masgblog said...

hi Felicia....gosh, still kaughing, hard now....thx for remembering the timing. We had fun that weekend. I do remember seeing her do it though (yuck).

Do boogers smell when you burn them in an ashtray?

HeatherinBeautifulBritishColumbia said...

oooohhhh, I had to quit reading before I got to the hand-guard method....yuck! My daughter-in-law says it's good for small children to eat their boogers - they contain anti-bodies that help to keep kids healthy....I just don't want to know - but hey, when you gotta do it, you gotta do it - just don't tell me or show me..........aaaggggggghhhhhh. How am I gonna get the bad taste out of my mouth..where's the chocolate?

HeatherinBeautifulBritishColumbia said...

gaaaaaacckkkkkk.....i'm still gagging and spitting so i have to link you!

Felicia said...

Mags, when they burn they snap, crackle and pop. I don't know if they smell, because (drum roll) I have no olfactory function.

(heather's comments made me LOL, too)

Asara Dragoness said...

hee hee!
I have employed both methods at various times in my life, both work well! Thanks for the giggle!!

maggie said...

LOL. Nose picking seems to be a hot blog topic.

The Wooden Porch said...

I included this blog in one of my posts today. (I kinda "went Skittles" and posted a whole lot. :-)

Tisha said...

basic stealth techniques for public nasal manicuring*LOL* That was the funniest thing I've read in a long time! Thanks for the laugh. Heh heh heh...

Linda said...

I came by via your winning post over on The Rising Blogger but this sure wasn't what I was expecting from the description there! Oh my gosh! I don't know how you could possibly have passed that woman on the street without gagging and/or laughing your head off!

Oh, and thanks for the "lessons" - duly noted!

And congratulations on a well-earned award!